Wild.

“Now, I understand” – these words frame my life as I continue to (try to) be present in each day and learn more about myself. Nothing quite compares to the acceptance that your life has become something you’ve never dreamed of, and the concurrent realization that you can no longer imagine it any other way. To me that has been equally frightening and fulfilling.

The past year has been a whirlwind of experience, epiphany, emotion…and fun! 

I’ve never felt more comfortable in my own skin.

I have always enjoyed spending time alone, whether it be relaxing, traveling, exploring, curling up in a good book, catching some rays, perusing the farmers market, appreciating a great cup of coffee, taking photos, running the park. The list is endless.

But alas, I’m a walking oxymoron. I also crave human connection with friends, lovers, strangers. Exchanging stories, smiles, laughs. Sharing intimacy, jokes, hopes, and dreams. Planning trips, and taking unplanned trips. Just living.

I have to embrace it.

I am wild.

There are times that I need to be free.

The thought of “settling down” has become a foreign concept to me.

I need the open option to drop everything and do something outlandish for the sake of living.

So, I will give in to my wild. I will drink it in, and let it work for my life. 

My personal commandments:

I will express gratitude.

I must remind those that I love how much they mean to me more often.

I crave the sea and I shall not keep myself from it.

I will seek new learning experiences daily.

I must allow my yoga practice to transform my body and open my mind.

I will open my heart to new experiences, and guard it just enough.

It’s not a craving to continuously accomplish the next best thing, or to seek a cheap or unattainable thrill. There is no comparison in my wildness to create those ideals, merely the pleasure in living with joy, loving fully, and never ceasing to explore. These concepts I can stand by – it’s about time I stopped wasting energy wondering why I can’t settle down. This is me.

Wild. Fearless. Ready.

me, wild and free in paradise (Koh Chang, Thailand 2006)

“I had diverged, digressed, wandered, and become wild. I didn’t embrace the word as my new name because it defined negative aspects of my circumstances or life, but because even in my darkest days— those very days in which I was naming myself— I saw the power of the darkness. Saw that, in fact, I had strayed and that I was a stray and that from the wild places my straying had brought me, I knew things I couldn’t have known before.”  -Cheryl Strayed